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The Real Housewives Of Atlanta Season 5 Episode 12

Well Honey Boo Boo Child, tonight’s episode of the housewives of Atlanta was a one to remember. So bring a nice juicy peach, a prayer cloth, and a chair. Because I am going to provide you with the shadiest Rooibos Tea that has hit your Tv screen tonight. Now the reason I chose this Tea is because it comes in a variety of flavors and thats what this show was tonight, all kind of flavors.

So they had the nerve to start this show out with that Derek J and that god awful looking Lawrence looking like the Crypt Keeper. Kenya starts off by trying to throw shade about she didn’t want to hear what that Phake-dra was saying when it came to that video deal. Its might funny she didn’t want to talk about it but thats the first thing she starts off every conversation. “Chile Cheese”. Kenya wants to say that this Stallion Booty is everything that a woman would want, clearly that messed up skin has messed with her blurry vision through those foggy colored contacts. If you just take a look at Kenya’s Booty you will see that it looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants. I can’t deal with this Kenya tonight.

Nene says she is not going to be apart of all this drama that you foolish women are engaging in. She says she is a GlamMother and she don’t have time for all that foolishness! Bloop Bloop!

Ok I don’t know why, but is it me or did I miss Derek J shampooing Kandi’s hair tonight? I know I didn’t miss anything I just had to be politically correct before I went in on these two shelf elfs! So Derek J is spilling all the gossip from the conversation from the hair show. Kandi couldn’t even let him finish before she pulled her phone out to call Phaedra. Chile Kandi is a Messy Jessie hunnie. She will carry all the information from one destination to another . Hell she almost like AT&T she always want to reach out and touch someone. Gurl sit down and get that stiff greasy hair shampooed! So now Phaedra is like dang, I knew she was Thirsty! But I didn’t know she was Hungry! hunnie leave it up to Phaedra to give you the best analogies known to men to say! I know this all off the subject, but can someone tell me why that Derek J won’t get a hair cut since his scalp is about to pull up on the scene and his hair is definitely missing! Chile I am just saying DANG, Just cut it all off! Oh I almost forgot his little friend in the back of his head. I got one word LIPO! Because I am tired of looking at that fat roll! No God Miss I wear high heels and tote a purse everywhere I go! (DEAD)

Cynthia has really grown up to be a BAWSE this season. That Miss Girl is READING for her life tonight. I guess she has took some pointers from her Actress BFF Nene! So Cynthia is hosting this modeling event and she is teaching her students how to walk in this fashion show. I am sitting here looking and why is that lady in that red dress standing there looking like Wanda from InLiving Color! I mean dang when you know there is a possibility that you might be filmed, Please be camera ready, Its not that hard TRUST ME!

Porsha girl, you punched right on in and handed out the shade tonight! You let Phaedra know that Kenya is a slap fool. I love you for this Read. Why Ms Cynthia was sitting there giving Porsha and Phaedra that Auntie look like, I told both of you in the beginning that she was a loose goose look. So Phaedra gives us another piece of her southern dictionary by letting us know that Kenya drinks like a fish and act like a fool! Phaedra says that Kenya is really Bipolar and she need to get some medication quick fast and in a hurry!

So just when I thought Kandi couldn’t look anymore Basic than she looks, She pops up on the scene with the stallion booty Kenya and a dress probably from her store! I mean from the head to toe her look was hurting my eyes, That Basic Hair, then that ugly dress and then her Big ole mouth! She is really coming out to really talk too much about all the other girls. She might call it being honest but in my world we say she is being MESSY! Now Kenya wants to persuade Kandi that Phaedra is wrong. She should already know that Phaedra is Kandi’s dogg and she is not going to let you talk about her friend like that. So Kenya stand down and put your tail between your legs and just go home to LA! So this little clear man ws standing there listing to their conversation then when they are about finish he says let me let you two talk. Man you have already listened this long you should have just stayed!

Phaedra and Kenya is like oil and water now. They will never be friends. Phaedra calls Kenya the devil’s little sister. Then Kenya calls Phaedra ” Shady Phae Phae, because she is playing you like a fiddle, referring to Porsha and Phaedra’s friendship. Hunnie I just fell on the floor and My eyes popped out. These southern ladies are too much tonight. Kenya really tries to talk this Stallion Video up saying most women wants to be a stallion! Not in Phaedra’s eyes she lets Kenya know that a Stallion is a male horse. Chile she has called Kenya a Drag Queen. see this right here is the hottest mess ever!

I am ending this with Phaedra’s funniest phrases yet, “tootles Ms America, I meant Ms RATCHETT USA”. Now you can take that laugh all the way to the bank because that was too funny.

Sidenote: Ms Porsha, THE BLACK BARBIE! Hunnie u looked like a Special Edition Holiday Barbie with that red dress on during your interview scene! Chile that face was Dusted and that hair was Layed o all the GREEK GODS. U DID THAT MS GURL!

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta : Season 5 Episode 11

Well chile tonight was the battle of the donkey booty and the square booty! The night started off in a good way, showing Nene and Gregg settling down in LA. I am not by myself I think we all love to see her happy!

Kenya is crazier than a bedbug! So he yellow headed aunt and her nappy headed cousin comes over and the whole conversation is about Walter! Hell that cousin said that Walter tried to talk to her, I bet she talked to him because that CHE is not a cute Georgia Peach! What?
Phaedra and Apollo have a meeting with Kenya to discuss the Donkey Booty Video. Kenya right off the backs says that she have secured distribution deal with Phaedra’s name alone. Now you already know that does not sit well with the southern belle. Phaedra was like Bish I didn’t ask you to do a darn thing, But chile you know thats how that Kendra, oops I mean Kenya does. She is paper chasing right now she need something going down in that so called production company! Then she has the nerve to say that the budget for the video production would be $100,000, ummm Hell what is she producing a mini -series. Kenya girl please find you a mental doctor cause you need some medication!

That Phaedra calls her Lawyer cause she does not do dealing with a crook. Phaedra’s Attorney let her know that he thought that the budget was too much and they didn’t need to have all this for a production of the video. Kenya and her so called producer and they are fussing about the money. Kenya hollers she needs fifty percent, chile all I could do was laugh at Phaedra cause she just had to clutch her pearls. Kenya had clearly took her back with that statement. To bring a long story short Kenya just want all this money for not doing anything. Then Phaedra lets Kenya know that she consulted with Todd about maybe using his production company. When she did that, it hit a nerve with Kenya and of course she TWIRLED on out the office! 
Kandi throws a surprise party for Todd and invites everyone. I love the way that Kandi is happy this season. That Kenya is still upset about the Donkey Booty Video, She approaches Todd to ask him and Kandi shut her all the way down. Chile that Ms Kenya was like I am about over all these chicks.
Cynthia is getting the READ award this season. Because this modeling chick has came all the way out her shell, I bet Wendy Williams want to have her on the morning show now. She has all the personality like we all like to see. So they all meet at the Bailey Agency for casting for the Donkey Booty Video. In comes Kenya and she immediately  tries to throw Phaedra under the bus to get Cynthia on her side. I just want to know who is that fruitloop that is running with Kenya that she is saying that he is her producer, Honey chile I don’t believe it! Kenya lets Cynthia know that Phaedra don’t want to pay her. Cynthia in returns letting Kenya know that Phaedra tweeted about the casting and Cynthia didn’t approve. Phaedra comes in and they let Phaedra have it and Cynthia lets Phaedra know that the casting was cancelled and she let her know that she will be getting a casting fee for having this at her place of business. That foolish Phaedra going to say that Kenya is hoping, wishing and wanting to have a deal. Hunnie you can pick me off the floor because I think I just Died! Phaedra girl you give us a good ole country read every time!  Kenya gets upset at Phaedra and storms out as usual, this is what she says “bye Ladies, Gentlemen, Girls and Queens” Kenya is a hott mess she called that Carlton, Cynthia’s Assistant a Queen. I died on contact with that!
All I have to say is I am convinced that Kenya is a fool and we need to keep her on the show because we need her foolishness! We didn’t see much from Porsha, but we know she is still around cause Kenya still does not like her.
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